Going ‘Cuckoo’: Three dud movies (2024)

As someone who has spent a majority of his life writing, acting, rehearsing, and basically doing anything and everything I can to make it into the motion picture industry, I can’t bring myself to be cynical about movies, even while knowing there’s lots of cynicism to spread around.

While it’s easier now to make a movie than ever before (I can name at least two great movies made on iPhones), it’s still not necessarily a walk in the park to finish one. Every movie that gets made, from the worst of Neal Breen to the best of Francis Ford Coppola, every single finished film is a miracle… some larger than others.

But a triple feature that I saw in one day was stacked with such bad movies that I felt the twinge of cynicism building behind my exhausted eyes. In fact, I was unable to completely sit through the third movie of my makeshift trilogy.

In no way do I think we’re living in the nadir of the motion picture industry right now (that was probably the 1950s… and during COVID), I do sometimes think of how amazing it would have been to live through the New Hollywood/American New Wave era of the late ’60s through the early ’80s and how that would have informed my obsession with cinema.

Even though I don’t think this is the worst period of filmmaking in history, this triple header made me think about maybe, just maybe, not watching all movies.

I started with Trap, the new film by M. Night Shyamalan and starring a recently returned from hiatus Josh Hartnett. Shyamalan is hit and miss (I wasn’t in love with his most recent Knock at the Cabin, but think he probably gets a lifetime pass for The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable). But Trap is his worst outing since at least The Last Airbender. The concept of a serial killer and his tween daughter at a massive arena concert surrounded by cops is solid enough and should have been an edge-of-your-seat thrill ride.

Somehow, not only does Shyamalan fail to summon a single second of tension in the entire film, the characters all have ridiculous dialogue. The story becomes more and more ridiculous and the structure falls apart into a messy collage of tropes and cliche.

Actually, the only thing that really works in Trap is Hartnett, who seems to be having a great time playing against type and using his deep well of charisma to make a creepy serial killer compelling. This movie is so bad it’s exhausting and a little depressing.

Film Details
  • Trap

    Rated PG-13 106 minutes

    Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan

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I followed that up with a screening of Cuckoo, a new science fiction/thriller/mystery/absurdist comedy starring Hunter Schafer, who effortlessly carries every frame of the film, even as the plot becomes sillier and, eventually, nonsensical. I was hyped for this one because of its great trailer and my love for Schafer and her co-star Dan Stevens.

I found the first half of the film very compelling because director Tilman Singer uses some visually hypnotizing formal tricks that pull you through the absurdist horror of the plot and imagery, but once you actually find out what’s going on and why everyone is acting strangely, it’s so ridiculous that the horror and terror inherent in the film up to that point then becomes campy and loses all sense of fear and tension. I found myself laughing at the film instead of with it and that’s a shame. Cuckoo is absolute nonsense and could have been so much more.

Film Details
  • Cuckoo

    Rated R 103 minutes

    Directed by: Tilman Singer

Then I saw Borderlands — a movie that was plagued with so many behind-the-scenes issues that when reshoots started, director Eli Roth wasn’t invited back to actually direct them and was instead replaced by Deadpool director Tim Miller. I’m not a huge fan of Rotten Tomatoes as a source for people to decide on the quality of a movie, but the current score for Borderlands is 7% with an audience score of 50%, both of which seem a little high to me. This might actually be the worst video game movie of all time.

Cate Blanchett looks like she’s having fun, but Kevin Hart, Ariana Greenblatt, and Jamie Lee Curtis all seem pretty embarrassed. The special effects don’t look finished or even fully rendered, the script is dire, the dialogue grating, and the story is without excitement. I made it 41 minutes into this and then had to bounce and drink away my sorrows.

I know it’s incredibly unprofessional for me not to have finished a movie I’m reviewing. All I can say is that Borderlands took 41 minutes I could have spent doing something better, like crying myself to sleep or drinking various types of bleach and rating their differing levels of viscosity.

I don’t know what person these three movies are for, but it isn’t me or anyone else I’ve ever met. Walking out of a movie before it’s over in search of a stiff drink hurt my heart a little. Let’s do better next time.

Film Details
  • Borderlands

    Rated PG-13 102 minutes

    Directed by: Eli Roth

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Going ‘Cuckoo’: Three dud movies (2024)

FAQs

What is the original cuckoo movie? ›

Kukushka) is a 2002 Russian war drama film directed by Aleksandr Rogozhkin, who died autumn of 2021. The Cuckoo takes place during World War II, and the action is seen from the opposing perspectives of a Soviet soldier and a Finnish soldier stranded together at a Sami woman's farmhouse.

What movie is the one that flew the cuckoo's nest? ›

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is a 1975 American psychological drama film directed by Miloš Forman, based on the novel One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. The film stars Jack Nicholson as a new patient at a mental institution, alongside Louise Fletcher as a sadistic nurse.

Why is Andy Samberg not in Cuckoo anymore? ›

Production. Following the success of series one, the BBC ordered a second series, but it looked uncertain due to Samberg's busy schedule. In February 2014, it was announced that Samberg would not return for the second series, with Taylor Lautner replacing him as Cuckoo's long-lost lovechild Dale.

Why was Dale removed from Cuckoo? ›

Twilight's Taylor Lautner wows as Andy Samberg's replacement in BBC series 'Cuckoo' Fans feared the death knell had been sounded when Andy Samberg was forced to quit BBC Three comedy 'Cuckoo' after the first series due to his committments to Golden Globe-winning series 'Brooklyn Nine Nine'.

Are there two versions of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? ›

Before Forman directed the 1975 film version - which was adapted by Bo Goldman - the book was made into a Broadway play by Dale Wasserman in 1963.

What mental illness did Chief have in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? ›

Chief Bromden is diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. This means he is heavily medicated most of the time, unable to truly understand what goes on around him.

Which show is a prequel to the 1975 film One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? ›

Ratched is a prequel to Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and the subsequent 1975 film adaptation, and follows the younger life of Nurse Ratched, the proto-typical heartless and corrupt psychiatric nurse.

Why did they change Cuckoo? ›

Series 2 introduced two major cast changes: Tamla Kari (Rachel) was replaced by Esther Smith, and Cuckoo was written out because of Andy Samberg's other work commitments and replaced by his long lost son Dale (Taylor Lautner).

What is the original story of cloud cuckoo land? ›

Aristophanes, a Greek playwright, wrote and directed a comedy, The Birds, first performed in 414 BC, in which Pisthetaerus, a middle-aged Athenian, persuades the world's birds to create a new city in the sky to be named Νεφελοκοκκυγία (Nephelokokkygia) or Cloud Cuckoo Land (Latin: Nubicuculia), thereby gaining control ...

Who was the original Cuckoo? ›

Ken (Greg Davies)and Lorna Thompson's (Helen Baxendale)daughter Rachel has returned from her gap year with a new husband, Cuckoo (Andy Samberg) - self-appointed spiritual ninja. He is every parent's worst nightmare - a slacker full of outlandish, New Age ideas.

Is the Cuckoo movie based on a true story? ›

The Cuckoo isn't based on a true story but is inspired by older thrillers with a similar theme and format.

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